What is best?
Here is my story……
After weeks of trying to feed my daughter (now 3) on the breast, and many tears, feelings of guilt and failure, I put her on the bottle. AND it was the best thing I ever did.
My doctor attributed my later diagnosed Post Natal Depression to the pressure that is placed on mothers to breastfeed. There is so much pressure to breastfeed out there. I’m not saying that breastfeeding is bad or that encouraging it is bad either. But to pressure someone to the point of depression is disgusting.
Not one single person or group was responsible for this, but rather a collective push from the hospital, midwives and ‘breastfeeding’ associations to ‘make’ me breasfeed my child. My doctor, funnily enough was the only one that made me realise there was another option and that I wouldn’t be failing my baby if I had to put her on the bottle. Some mothers, whether we want to or not just cannot breasfeed.
She is now a happy healthy 3 year old girl and if you lined her up with a group full of other 3 year olds you would not be able to pick her out and say she was bottle fed.
I guess I do wonder, what is best for your baby? Making sure she’s fed or doing what society sees as ‘best’??
Would love to know what you all think!
lovelyjubbly :: Jun.03.2007 :: Uncategorized :: 2 Comments »
2 Responses to “What is best?”
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Thanks for sharing your story lovely jubbly. I agree that there is an enormous amount of pressure and guilt placed on women with regards to breastfeeding. I also believe this pressure and a sense of failure if breastfeeding doesn’t work out is a major contributor to PND.
This pressure is one of the reasons we set up Mum Knows Breast. We’re here to support mums with whatever choices they make without the guilt and judgement! Ever mum does her best and we should be enouraging that. Afterall what’s best for mum is best for baby.
I also experienced guilt and pressure with breastfeeding when I weaned my baby at 7 months. I lost extreme amounts of weight and couldn’t keep up my supply but I felt like such a failure and so guilty for weaning! I really felt depressed about it and was even scared to tell a b/f friend I had weaned! The funny thing is other mums and professionals were the worst when they should have been the most supportive. We should be congratulating women for having tried or breastfed for any amount of time in the first place!
What does everyone else think?
For me a big problem was that I was always told that I was doing it “wrong”. As a mum to a premmie, it was really hard to get it “right” which is why I ended up weaning Charley.
I just keep repeating what my dad said to me - “better a relaxed, confident mum with a bottle then a stressed out mum with a boob”.
Too right Dad.